This isn’t really about the Philippines, but it is about Asia. I don’t know if some of the signs I use in today’s article will offend anyone or not. If they do, I apologize. All I know is that when I started looking for them, I couldn’t stop laughing.
I taught English in 11th and 12th grades and college for 40 years. Usually, “English class” at those levels isn’t about how to speak English but mostly about how to read literature and understand why the characters in stories act like they do. For lots of reasons, all cultures in the world write and tell stories about human behavior and experience; some of these stories are written artfully, and in English class you get to talk about all these characters thrown into extreme situations and why they behave like they do. In other words, what makes human beings tick. This is what you are supposed to talk about in English Class. You also try to help young adults learn how to write clearly for different purposes. You know, everything from a business letter, to stories of your own, to that daunting Research Essay that college professors love so much. For those of you who hated English class and have hours of grammar lessons and conjugating sentences fixed in your memory as well as some generally bad, boring books they made you read, “back in the day,” I apologize to you. That was Crappy English Class. It’s like root canal surgery; you had to do it, but by the end of high school, “Can I close my mouth now please?”
In the last half of my career I had many ELL (English Language Learner) students in the US and overseas whose first language was not English. There were refugees from Cambodia in the 1980’s; one week they were in a refugee camp on the Thai-Cambodian border, and the next week they were wearing new parkas and backpacks in Portland, Oregon. As the demographics shifted on the US West Coast, many more Hispanics, Eastern European kids and kids from all over the world showed up in school classrooms. In fact, my last school district in Oregon had students who spoke 104 different languages. Teaching English to these kids meant something different. So, I get it. English is a hard language to learn and I have nothing but respect for people who try to communicate in a language not their own. I see it in the Philippines everyday…people who speak Tagalog or Cebuano or Waray Waray wrestling with English, trying to communicate. And for the most part, they do a pretty good job. Most schools do teach in English, at least in the urban areas.
But, there is a unique form of English. It exists mostly in Japan and China. It is weird; sometimes it seems as if it’s not of this planet. It’s Twilight Zone English. It is what’s on Japanese and Chinese t-shirts. It often appears on menus and signs, and once in a while you can even figure out what the person who wrote it is trying to say, maybe. Often, it’s just bizarre. Things really do get Lost in Translation. And, I think the writers don’t even care if it makes sense as long as sounds like English. Sometimes I think they’re just trying to make me laugh.
And the Instructions… so clear yet so obtuse… In English class your teacher might write:
“Usage or Word Choice,” with a question mark on your paper. Like any student understands what that means, eh?
And then there’s just the truly bizarre. Sometimes it’s kids wearing t-shirts. When you see these you immediately jab your elbow into the person you’re with and say, “Wow! Did you see that? They can’t know what that means!” And they don’t. It’s just “cute English words,” and everybody likes cute English words.
I speak very bad Bisaya and Tagalog. It is traveler’s language, (Where is, How much, Who, What, Why, When, Where, numbers, some miscellaneous vocabulary words and some sentences which I find helpful.) It is the same way I can speak in French, Italian and Japanese; the only language besides English that I speak reasonably well is Spanish.
I wouldn’t put any of my sentences on signs or t-shirts, but they do this in Japan and China. It is everywhere. Kids and adults wear these words on shirts in the street. It is a unique “stab” at English. Some have referred to it as Engrish. And I think, in those cultures, it is considered “close enough.”
Where I worked in Japan, they called me Assy-san. That was supposed to be my last name, Ashley. It wasn’t correct, but from the Japanese standpoint, again, it was close enough. I thought this was really weird. It was even written this way on lists. In fact all the foreign teachers’ names were written sort of “like they sounded” to the Japanese ear. It worked… for them.
At Narita Airport, they have new “English” signs in preparation for the upcoming Olympics. One particularly expensive looking, lighted sign that shows where things are at the airport has a whole section called, “Razzarants.” Again, it is sort of what the word “Restaurants” sounds like, and I guess, it’s close enough.
So, nothing is going to change about this or about how the English language is written or used in Japan or China. And even if we don’t travel there, the world is so much smaller because of the internet; we can literally see everything no matter where it is. I think people’s use of English is much better here in the Philippines. At least there are attempts at saying it right. My friend, who teaches college English, sees these strange Engrish sentences as a form of poetry; it’s just like him, kind and forgiving. I think he’s a dork because it’s really just lazy English, weird English, confusing English and I guess that means we get to keep laughing. I know I will. And… I am safe in the knowledge that I can always get these…
It makes me feel safe and secure. Culturally acknowledged, you know? And, so I’ll leave you with this one thought.
I know you’ll consider it.