I know that is a weird title to start with, as this is not a self-help website, but I have a reason. There have been many events that shaped my time here in the Philippines. In turn, these events also changed my attitude.
Some of these events were mistakes of others; some were mistakes of mine. Some were happy moments that made me realize something important.
They all made me realize that I am happy to have found a home, a place where I feel I belong. These are my lessons.
You Have to Change
Recently, an acquaintance of mine, in ill health, went back to the U.S. after eight years here in the Philippines. The thing about him, and why I don’t consider him a close friend was that he would try to bond with me by talking about all the negative in the Philippines and all the bad things that happened to him.
His problem was that, even though he was in a different place, he expected everyone else to change to fit his needs. I know that is not the path to success. He also only looked at the negative, and I have changed my entire life by developing a positive outlook.
Where he complained about the Filipino people, I embraced them. I have found the Filipino people to be wonderful, hard-working, and even though we may not agree on religion, they are devout. I’ve never felt a hint of racism in my time here, and I am always made to feel welcomed.
Lesson number one: Embrace change and enjoy the differences.
You Must Be Flexible
I can’t say everything here has been tulips and daisies. I still am constantly surprised by the Philippine “rules of the road!” I drive very carefully, most of the time, and have more than once been the subject of several honking horns after I stopped at a crosswalk to let children and old ladies cross.
My wife says I drive like a Filipino, but there are just some things that are normal here that I can’t do. I rarely cut people off, unless its to avoid an accident. I also do stay in my lane and don’t take up more than one.
But, that’s just it. You can’t get mad about it. You should just go with the flow.
Lesson number two: Don’t fight it. Go with the flow most of the time.
Be Willing to Try the Unfamiliar
I have an attitude that I must try everything. A few months ago, I ate a huge piece of raw Durian, and although I can’t say it was pleasant, I’m glad I did. I have also tried Balut, Dinugu-an, chicken heads and feet, and Sumsumman (the Illongo version of what you eat when you drink, which is made up from all the questionable parts of the animal).
Some things I will never eat again, but I tried, and that is important because you never know what you will like. You can’t be afraid of everything and not fully explore the world. You can’t only do what you are comfortable with, or you know you will like. You have to take chances.
Lesson number three: Step out of your comfort zone.
Learn to Appreciate the Small Things
I’ve learned that things others may claim as nuisances, I try to be grateful for and take advantage. Taking a bath with cold water may seem like roughing it, but it’s very refreshing, and there is nothing better after a hot day. Sure, brownouts are annoying, but I also get a well-needed break from technology, and I am grateful.
As I go through my day, I try to capture every moment. Because, it’s the small things that truly are the big things: a look from my wife, a kiss from my daughter, the icy feel of a Red Horse beer after a hot day, a breeze on my face as I walk by the rice field when I walk my dog. The things that most people fail to remember are what makes life grand.
When you are going through your day, just stop, and breathe. Notice the feel of the air going in and out of your lungs and take note of what is going on around you. If you are not careful, you may miss something.
Lesson number four: What others call mindfulness, I call life!
What’s next?
I have many more lessons, but I will leave them for another day. I hope I have inspired you to look at life differently. I hope that those of you that are still planning to come to the Philippines will see a little of what you need to do to appreciate your time here.
Living in the Philippines is wonderful no matter what the no-it-all on Facebook has told you. See for yourself. You won’t be sorry!