A couple weeks ago, Steve wrote an article entitled “If I (Steve) was President of the Philippines” in which he laid out his political platform for his (fictional) run for the Presidency of the Philippines. In his article, Steve said at the end:

If Bob Martin decides to run, I will graciously step aside.

OK, Steve… you have drawn me into the race! Like you, I am not a citizen of the Philippines, so neither of us can run for President of the Philippines, but we can pretend! You might have spoken too quickly, though, because I am not so sure you will like my programs and policies that I would put into place. You did make a promise to step aside graciously, though.. and we know that all politicians do everything they promise, right? LOL

Bob’s Policies in Reaction to Steve

I will follow the policies that Steve laid out but make some changes.

1. Steve is proposing that everybody must speak English when foreigners are present. I would make quite a change to Steve’s proposal. My policy will be that all foreigners who plan to live here in the Philippines for 6 months or more must learn either Tagalog or the local language that is used in the area where they live. Having become fluent in Cebuano, I can tell you that learning the language will improve your life immensely here!
2. Each resident may choose which language they want to speak regardless of who is present.
3. I believe in the free marketplace. If brewers or any other type of business (assuming it is legal) wish to locate in the Philippines, that is great. It will bring more competition and an improved product is what will result.
4. I believe in freedom of religion. If Churches do not believe in birth control, they are free to feel that way. Many Churches do feel that birth control is OK. I, as President, would not interfere with the freedom of religion.
5. Amazon already has plans in the work for a Philippine presence. National Bookstore will have the right to continue operations, in line with my belief in the free market. With Amazon coming in it will force National Bookstore to improve or end up going out of business due to having a competitor that is much better than they are.
6. When it comes to Karaoke, I will institute the Davao law in the entire nation. Karaoke is OK, but at 9 PM it must be shut down.
7. All foreigners and Philippine Citizens who complain about Internet speeds will need to go to an educational seminar that shows them that they can subscribe to a plan that offers better speeds. Also, they will be taught to monitor their bandwidth usage and understand that when they exceed their monthly bandwidth allowance their speeds are reduced. For remote areas in the Province where higher Internet speeds are not available, we will implement a national infrastructure improvement program to bring the Information Superhighway to parts of the nation where it is not currently available.
8. Again.. I believe in free market. Also, those who don’t like Jollibee (like me, I don’t eat any fast food) are free to go elsewhere.
9. Again.. free market.
10. I don’t believe in skin whitening.. but, I do believe int he free market. LOL
11. If people believe in and enjoy Christmas, it can be celebrated any time they feel the spirit.
12. Filipino call center agents are one of the strongest parts of the Philippine Economy and we will begin a program in schools to train call center agents so that they continue to be the best call center agents in the world.
13. Filipinos don’t really seem to be enamored by war, so let’s just make peace.
14. No national holiday for Steve’s birthday, sorry. National Holidays will be reduced to no more than 2 per month at the very absolute maximum, meaning there will be a lot fewer holidays!
15. My Presidential predecessor (Duterte) has put in a policy where he plays USA, China, and Russia against each other to maximize the amount of aid that the Philippines receives. I will simply continue his policy to maximize the benefit for the average Filipino.
16. I keep saying this… I believe in the free market. Whatever a company wants to put into their halo-halo it is not a government issue.
17. Out of Stock online store. This would be a very Filipino store, it seems to me, so I will support Steve on this.
18. Cockfights are not a problem. Rooster fights.. again, not an issue. I will put Steve in as my Cabinet Secretary of the Bureau of Fights and he can control whatever fights he wishes to change.

I know that Steve’s article was more “tongue in cheek”. I do feel, though, that most of the things that Steve wanted to change are more geared toward short-term expats. People who are not yet adjusted to the way things are here. For those who have been here long-term, most of these things are just accepted as the way it is, and something we can’t change.

Still going to step aside for me, Steve? LOL